Windows 7 Fox Mulder Edition... keeps an X-File on UFO's (Unexplained Failures to Operate) and user command abductions.

Windows 7 Dana Scully Edition... provides  logical explanations and attributes them to Microsoft.

Windows 7 Stargate Edition... dialing home doesn't always get you there and requires Norton to prevent Go-auld viruses.

Windows 7 Three Stooges Edition... goes "nyuk, nyuk, nyuk' when user performs fatal error.

Windows 7 Oliver Hardy Edition... has the error message: "That's another fine mess you've gotten me into" when you download a virus or trojan.

Windows 7 University of Florida edition; while surfing user receives numerous pop ups begging, “Don’t taze me bro!”  

Windows 7 Bigfoot Edition... extremely fast and instantly performs most user operations, but leaves huge memory footprints.

Windows 7 Yeti Edition... operates well in low temperatures and high altitudes but is abominable at communication and its IP address is never seen on the WWW.

Windows Moose Edition... No, not for animal lovers but a rushed early release containing subliminal messages urging users to vote for the revamped Palin/McCain ticket.

Windows 7 Faithful Hound Edition... reintroduced the XP search puppy, which greets you at the door and fetches your slippers.

Windows 7 Feline Edition.... purrs like a kitten when in use, but instantly falls asleep if you leave your laptop on the couch.

Windows 7 Bull Edition... works tirelessly like an ox and never needs a reboot but is not recommended for china shop owners

Windows 7 Elephant Edition... probably MS' largest ever OS: while it has a huge footprint and ravenously chews resources it has an excellent memory and allows users to make free internet trunk calls.

Windows 7 John Murtha Edition - it's not a Racist Edition, just a Redneck one.

Windows 7  Monica Lewinsky Edition - A cigar in every pack or with a Windows 7 preinstalled PC

Windows 7 Mr T Edition - The Boot Screen has Mr T pointing towrds you with the words "I pitty the fool who bought this copy".

Windows 7 Jackass Edition - If you buy it, you deserve it

Windows 7 O'Reily Edition - You hard drive and CD-Rom spin stops here

Windows 7 007 Edition - You sidebar has more gadgets than a swiss army knife.

ohhhh..... ouch..... that one gotta hurt....
(and not only for the user)

Windows 7 Star Trek Edition - boots in warp speed.
(If you're a fast reader, you'll notice the nano second the bootscreen reads "Warp speed, Mr. Zulu")

Windows 7 Stargate Edition - Sends your box onto another planet.....

Windows 7 wasilla Town Hall edition... don't need to install a 'tracks eraser' as it conveniently loses important documents, contact details and bookmarks.

Windows 7 Politician Edition.... not only does it have a built-in spell-checker, it comes complete with a political lies and broken promises dictionary, a $150K + GOP expense account, and cos you know they're gonna be doing it right back at you, a lie checker to suss-out political opponents/colleagues emails.

Windows 7 Energy Czarina Edition: Puts a tax on the Oil Companies that everyone else pays at the pump. Fills her coffers and allows her to pay citizens of "Up There" for votes and seeks pork anyway!

Windows 7 Catholic Edition.... has a direct line to God and takes confession.

Windows 7 Hare Krishna Edition.... has a weird looking GUI and plays George Harrison system sounds.

Windows 7 Scientology Edition....  Tom Cruise will interrogate, evaluate and reindoctrinate users performing system errors.

Windows 7 Mormon Edition... EULA stipulates users must go doorknocking weekly to spread the word

Windows 7 Jehova's Witness Edition... same as Mormon Edition but comes with 'crush-proof' shoe to prevent injury when sticking foot inside people's doors.

Windows 7 TV Evangelist Edition... users don't have to believe in God, included instructional video shows how to lie convincingly that they do to keep the money rolling in.

Windows 7 Dr Phil Edition.... performs psyche evaluations before users can logon: religious zealots can only logon in 'Safe Mode Without Networking'