Windows 7 Doctor Who Edition... doesn't need the internet as it transports users in time and space to site locations.
Windows 7 Dalek Edition.... comes complete with anti-viral laser and allows users to "Exterminate, Exterminate" spyware, trojans, viruses and malware, but not Porn Bots. The porn bot exterminator is slated for SP11 but is not expected to be effective against pictures of naked women (or men).
Windows 7 Mr Spock Edition... does not allow users to perform illogical operations: uses Vulcan mind meld to virtually knock some sense into them should they try to do so.
Windows 7 Scotty Edition... I'm giving it all she's got, but she's got no more to give... MS' bloat has put too much strain on the dilitium drive and we're going to crash.
Windows 7 Captain Kirk Edition... Very funny Mr Scott... now beam down my pants! While this Windows edition explores technology where no OS has gone before, sometimes things get lost in cyberspace due to unstable 'copy and move' functions in the file transporter room.
Windows 7 Lt. Uhura Edition... has a gorgeous intreface but is limited to hailing other frequencies on the internet and doesn't do a lot else.