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I cant even believe this is happening to me

Vampothika

Join Date 07/2006

+590

I cant even believe this is happening to me

I always thought life sucked, but even more so than now. i got diagnosed with cancer of the breast. and quite frankly im pretty numb, i have no feelings to even find. this is what god has now decided to shove down my throat. the darker half of me just wants to let it fester internally until it kills me, so i can finally fullfill my lifelong dream and join my dad in his grave. the other half says fix it, get the opporation. i dunno what to do

quite franky, im pretty sure most of you are secretly thinking "oh goodie shes going to die...' I dont blame you, I never wanted anything but to be liked by people. its pretty hard when you dont have a mind that functions like everyone else, so your just not normal in the first place. so it really makes no difference if your liked or not, either way your just an outsider....

I dont want anything, reply if you want, or dont reply either way, i have to deal with this my own way. so if you dont see me in the forums, but you see me skin every now and then, yeah im still here, but what ever my fate is, will just be that, my fate.........................

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Actually Kitty, the cancer may have been working on your body to make you so moody recently. They are very good at treating it (if you are in a country not the USA or have insurance) and I think it may help in a lot of issues to get this nastiness out of your body.

Note that anything homeopathic, etc. is all bullshit. They are all just selling you something.

Get a doctor who really knows what they are doing and get it REALLY treated (surgery plus chemo). Hopefully it is a lumpectomy not a radical mastectomy, but they are even good with reconstructive surgery these days.

My mom is a 15 year survivor and now the best health of her life with a great man, my stepdad.

The survival rate for breast cancer has never been higher with proper professional treatment.

Love, peace, and support.

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

I appologize for the horrible way I broke the news

No need to apologise, Kitty, you are going through an emotional time so it's understandable that not every word/sentence/phrase is going to come out right, perfectly or whatever every time. The main thing is that you're feeling a bit better and seem to be coping better now. That fiance of yours sounds like a pretty decent bloke, too, so tell him thanks for being there for you from all of us as well.

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Thinking of ya kitty - be good to yourself.

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superman

Join Date 03/2008

+133

Oh why do u think that we hate you. Its not right.
Be happy.. If u have some complains express them. We are with u. Love is the rule here and we love u we need u..so does ur family.
Why will anyone hate u.
My advice to u is to do some meditation, take ur time to relax in nature, join some camp to abandon ciggerates and read jokes.
And get cured. Think rationally. Man is a rational being..

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I.R. Brainiac

Join Date 05/2003

+281

Nobody wants you dead silly...believe it or not,despite our differences i do relate to your mental issues.I am subject to the same problems all the time...sometimes I just want to give up.But even when its at its worst(up to 2 months sometimes) I always know it not the real me,its only temporary.

Depression will convince you you dont want treatment...I KNOW because I let it interfere with keeping up with doctor visits and treatment all the time.Then I have to keep rescheduling appointments,getting more prescriptions that I hate taking,going to doctors in other cities with no transportation,and on and on and on...

so dont give up...do what you must.

Its ALWAYS the need to be creative that eventually pulls me out of a depressive episode...I CANT give up,I have too much left to do.

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The worst thing you can do is give up on yourself..I don't know you personally but you are human like the rest of us, so thinking about being liked or disliked has nothing to do with it...just do what you have to do to stay alive kitty

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Lantec

Join Date 07/2003

+346

Very sorry to hear that Kitty. You'll stay in my prayers.
I have two breast cancer survivors in my family. It's traumatic but it's something you can live with. You're gonna need a support system so don't keep it a secret.

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NightTrainthedark

Join Date 07/2003

+255

Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength.

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ZubaZ

Join Date 11/2001

+917

Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength.

Saving this away until I need it. Thanks

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Bushman

Join Date 08/2001

+17

Well it looks like we are a bunch of messed up people

, me included. You're not alone Kitty, get real treatment and make sure you get a reputable doctor, YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS! Sounds like you have a good guy there keep him and use him for support while you go through this, don't ever give up, never. Email me any time if ya need to talk.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+3658

YES!
Look...I believe in real measures: Make sure you get to a Surgeon and an Oncologist. One probably won't work without the other's consultation.
If Mastectomy is a must, then realize that reconstructive surgery is covered by insurance companies.

Best of luck to you!

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+3658

Worry does not empty tomorrow of sorrow - it empties today of strength.Saving this away until I need it. Thanks

Zu: Worry is the rent you pay on a house you don't even live in.

Thanks for stepping in here....I wanted to ask you to yesterday, but I thought that you might really need your Sunday for other stuff.

All's well that ends well.

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It would be a lonely place in this world without you. My mom, sister-in-law and friends of the family went through this and they survived. You need to look the world in the face and say kiss my ass i'm not going to die. Kisses and best wishes, HOS.

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J. Aroche

Join Date 03/2005

+45

Kitty I'm so sorry to hear this, I honestly don't have any experience to advise you on anything but I do hope everything turns out good for you and I hope you make the right choice.

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Kitty, I don't know you but from the tone of your post I can tell you are depressed. Frankly so would I be if I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Please don't blame God - He does not give us more than we can handle. I know as I live in chronic pain every day of my life. Please try to fight this -- get a good therapist to help you through it. Breast Cancer is now one of the most easily cured cancers you can get if caught in time. So please try not to let it get you down. I will remember you in my prayers.

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

Kitty,

I am a 3 year survivor of lung cancer and have severe COPD. Just found out a few weeks ago that I now have prostate cancer and am having surgery on 9/11. I tell you this because a diagnosis of cancer is not the end. Giving up is the end, not smiling and laughing is the end and not fighting with every fiber of your sole is the end. Seek the best help you can find. Take the treatments. Never give up and never give in. You have 3 million + members here to hold your hand whenever you need someone.

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Lantec

Join Date 07/2003

+346

You have 3 million + members here to hold your hand whenever you need someone.

Goes for you too Angus. I'll be praying for you.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+3658

Angus, my best thoughts and wishes go with you. Dr. J. is one of your friends!

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

This is all about Kitty, but I thank you and will gratefully take your prayers.

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I love you, Kitty.

Hugs in this trying time.

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this is what god has now decided to shove down my throat.

Kitty,
God has nothing to do with any illness. He came to heal and save us giving us eternal life. The price He paid for our healing is unthinkable. You know He is your father, daddy, Abba. would your father wish this upon you? I know not.

The enemy, Satan came to lie, kill and destroy.

We are a family in this WinCustomize Community and if only 1% pray for you that is an awesome power.

I am sorry to say medical doctors only answer to cancer is to cut, poison, and burn so I think it is wonderful you are open to going to a naturopath.

It is also a good idea for you and everyone around you to speak positive, the spoken word is very powerful. What you spoke in your opening comments was not helpful.

I have a friend who had breast cancer so bad it had spread to about 12 lymph nodes. She chose not to have her breasts removed only the lumps in her breasts and her lymph glands. She used a very intensive program of nutrients and supplements to completely irradicate her cancer many years ago. I would love to give you her telephone number if you are interested.

We love you KittyMalone,

Peter

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Kitty, I am reminded of a time when my Mom had a breast removed. She started getting visits from friends, and family that she hadn't seen in years! I remember her saying "If I had known I would get all this attention, I would have had it removed a long time ago!!" That was my Mom, such a sense of humor, even found a way to laugh at something like this. She never let it get her down. Keep a good attitude, we love you!

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

I would have had it removed a long time ago!!" That was my Mom, such a sense of humor, even found a way to laugh at something like this.

Only way to be Jim. Good for your mom.

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danioc

Join Date 07/2001

+121

I hope you get better soon, be strong

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I am sorry to say medical doctors only answer to cancer is to cut, poison, and burn so I think it is wonderful you are open to going to a naturopath.

Huh? Those answers as you put them have saved MANY lives. In my opinion, don't go the Naturopath route. Ultimately it's your decision Kitty, but sound medical treatment is your best way to treat your cancer. I will also say a prayer for your well being. I also have to add that a positive attitude is also very helpful to aid in your recovery. Stay strong Kitty.

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