I haven't been able to disprove my deceased parents opinions...yet.
Have to agree with Jafo & Apocalypse.
Not exactly on topic but, to lighten the mood:
**** THE UNDERTAKER SKETCH ****
**** from Monty Python's Contractual Obligations Album ****
Man: (entering a shop) Um, excuse me, is this the undertaker's?
Undertaker: Yup, that's right, what can I do for you, squire?
Man: Um, well, I wonder if you can help me. My mother has just died
and I'm not quite sure what I should do.
Undrtk: Ah, well, we can 'elp you. We deal with stiffs.
Man: (aghast) Stiffs?
Undrtk: Yea. Now there's three things we can do with your mum. We can bury
her, burn her, or dump her.
Man: Dump her?
Undrtk: Dump her in the Thames.
Man: (still aghast) What?
Undrtk: Oh, did you like her?
Undrtk: Oh well, we won't dump her, then. Well, what do you think: burn her,
or bury her?
Man: Um, well, um, which would you recommend?
Undrtk: Well they're both nasty. If we burn her, she gets stuffed in the
flames, crackle, crackle, crackle, which is a bit of a shock if she's
not quite dead. But quick. And then you get a box of ashes, which you
can pretend are hers.
Man: (timidly) Oh.
Undrtk: Or, if you don't wanna fry her, you can bury her. And then she'll get
eaten up by maggots and weevils, nibble, nibble, nibble, which isn't
so hot if, as I said, she's not quite dead.
Man: I see. Um. Well, I.. I.. I.. I'm not very sure. She's definitely dead.
Undrtk: Where is she?
Man: In the sack.
Undrtk: Let's 'ave a look.
(FX: rustle of bag opening)
Undrtk: Umm, she looks quite young.
Man: Yes, she was.
Undrtk: (over his shoulder) FRED!
Fred: (offstage) Yea!
Undrtk: I THINK WE'VE GOT AN EATER!
Fred: (offstage) I'll get the oven on!
Man: Um, er...excuse me, um, are you... are you suggesting we should
eat my mother?
Undrtk: Yeah. Not raw, not raw. We cook her. She'd be delicious with a few
french fries, a bit of stuffing. Delicious! (smacks his lips)
Man: What! (he stammers)
Man: Actually, I do feel a bit peckish - No! NO, I can't!
Undrtk: Look, we'll eat your mum. Then, if you feel a bit guilty about it
afterwards, we can dig a grave and you can throw up into it.
Man: All right.