Start your pole shopping or go without!
As you undoubtedly know (being the clever WC'ers that you are), "Festivus is for the rest of us."
If you don't know what Festivus is, all hope is not lost. Here is an educational video (also accessible via the external link).
For those without the means to buy a Festivus pole, here's one for free!
Never say I did nothing for you.