Thanks a bunch, Doc for posting this, I/we appreciate it.
I knew about the internet non-availability but wasn't too sure if I'd get around to doing it myself as I'd had a rough night [damned pain and insomnia again] and ended up sort of sleeping in 'til midday ...ish... then I had to go grocery shopping before the supermarket closed at 5.00pm.
Yeah, they take an early mark Saturdays so staff can go clubbing/partying, etc. Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. 
Anyhow, I digress... as usual.
So! I'm left behind... AGAIN, and miss out on all the fun... the arrival of Mia-Rose n all.
.... and being a pirate I be used ter waters breakin' [tho usually o'er tha bow]... so I could 'ave bin of 'elp. Even if it wur only ta git them thar scurvy swabs ter swab tha deck afterwerds.
Worse still, my orgy guests haven't turned up and I'd feel a bit of a dill blowing up all these condom-shaped party balloons just for me.
Not one guest! I'm wondering if it was the mention of "BYO Viagra" on the invites... or if it was the "All are welcome, but ladies, feel free the leave your worst.... er, other half at home if you so desire."
Oh well, it just means more finger food for me... and shandy! Gotta have me a few shandies on such an auspicious occasion.
Yup, I'll follow in the old Irish tradition of wetting the babies head... but with a shandy or three instead of whiskey, then it's early to bed for me, cos frankly, I'm quite knackered. Apart from the fact I got very little sleep last night/early this morning, then walked 5kms to the shops for groceries, the thought of all that childbirth stuff has just plum tuckered me out.
Orright, one shandy was enough... 'night all.