While everyone is so busy looking to your left y'all forgot to look to your right. Zombies are g-daweful ugly, not stupid. On my right is two Uzi's, three AK-47's, six plasma bombs and a flyswatter. I'm ready for 'em.

After they pass through the cloud of toxic waste material left over from the last curried cabbage bake they'll be lucky to still have, just about anything left. I think we found the Ultimate Weapon for the resistance. Allow me to introduce The Master Blaster of Fartdom.....none other than....our very own, one and only, like no other, one of a kind, all around do gooder and defender of the cabbage patch....you know who it is. Lets hear it for......mrs starkers.

That's why they call 'em ... "DA BOSS"

HA,HA,HA, That's what you think

NOPE I come first  and by the way you know the old saying  ? the woman is always right  well I am a woman  so I am right

mmmm smells like a combernation of  curried prawns  and muesli

Be afraid... be very afraid

The Zombies have invaded the sewers and are coming up through toilets everywhere.... watch out for your wedding tackle fellas

Holy Crap!( no pun intended) It's true, I saw it on the internet, it's gotta be true!

Yup, it's true orright... they're down there laying in wait (nah, the smell don't bother 'em) for poor unsuspecting victims on which to dine.

Apparently, they're rather partial to sweetbreads, so yeah, there is a danger some family trees could end abruptly.

There is one thing you can do to protect the family jewels... that's throw in a bar of soap, a back scrub and a rubber ducky. 

It seems hygiene is paramount to zombies after periods of time down in the sewers, so keep these items handy beside the loo if falsetto is not your preferred singing voice.

That's right, stick up a finger that's pointing upward, then say not to look up.

Are you trying to be a smart Alec or is there some truth in this?

Lemme get this right!  So what you're saying, then, is that zombies haven't got an airborne division that can drop in by parachute?

Well that 'd be the way to shock shit out of them, then... bungy jumping or skydiving lessons.

Don't reckon they'd like salt water too much, either... it'd burn and sting like all buggery, sorta like me thinks.

Yup, that 'd also be the go!  Invite them on a pleasant moonlight cruise and scuttle the boat 5 miles off shore. 

A surface to ship missile oughta do the trick.

Better still, there's a big, big building in Canberra called Parliament House that we could send 'em.   After a feed in there they'll all die of food poisoning.

Oh, hang on a mo, you'll need some for that big, big building in Washington... be sure to let 'em loose when it's full.

Two alligators were sitting around talking, and the smaller
alligator turned to the bigger one & said, "I
can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I
just don't get it."
 
"Well" said the big gator, "what have you
 been eating?"
 
"Politicians, same as you," replied the small
 Gator.
 
"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"
 
"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot
 by the Capitol."
 
"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"
 
"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars &
wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab
them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat'em!"

"Ah!"  says the big alligator, "I think I see
your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment.
 See, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a
politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a
briefcase."

That's like the two hobos who hadn't bathed in a year, and were sitting in the public gallery of Congress.  An usher approached them and quietly commented about their unwashed and disheveled state... that the room was filled with the county's most distinguished politicians.

So one hobo says to the other: "I think he's asking us, 'what about the awful smell',".

The other hobo promptly replies: "We're in a roomful of politicians, but we'll get used to it!"