You wouldn't be kidding us now would ye?
I got a full coffee cup. Or is that a coffee cup that's full?
Actually, that would be a coffee mug, wouldn't it?? .... though in my case it would be 'bucket', so large is my more than twice the standard size coffee mug.
Right now I have a rolled up bunch of junk mail to my left, neatly kept in place with a rubber band. 'Tis quite heavy, so I s'pose I could try scaring off the zombies with all that blatant advertising.