"Hi Brad, this is the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama. I heard about your match, and wanted to weigh in on this important issue. Now, before I make any comments, let me just say that I believe we can all agree that this loss, this set back is in part due to the failed policies of the Bush Administration and here in Washington, we understand that point and will work together with SD to ensure that hard working Americans are well taken care of in the wake of this unforseen series of events."
"Now, in response to this lost, I can only summise that the Bush Administration lacked the foresight, the capability and the will to act to avoid such a disaster. Let me assure you, we're working as hard as we can to correct this issue and ensure that no American family will lose their houses, their livelyhoods or their cars as a direct result of the outcome of this match and that steps are being put in place even as I speak to avoid such a disaster ever occuring again, or to lessen the blow dealt to the American people"
"Now, to those doom sayers out there, let me address you personally; I love this country and I will continue to love this country until I am decleared medically dead, and even then my internal organs will be donated to help keep people who love this country and who continue to do so alive longer so that they too can love this country in my stead, Now --"
"Er.. wow, thanks for popping in and all, Mr President, but... and I hate to interupt, but I think despite your best intentions you've actually gotten a little bit Off To--"
"Excuse me, Mr Wardell, could you please come with us? It'll only take a moment"