Now if you took my advice and stayed off the curried cabbage in the first place, 'speshully that triple-concentrated stuff you love so much, you wouldn't have a hernia to get operated on. I told ya that it takes a seasoned, cast iron gut to handle that stuff, but would you listen? Nope!
It's that competitive nature of yours, though I must admit the starkerbark competitions were a ball. Oh well, maybe next time you won't save it all up to try beat my best...
... gotta let rip at frequent intervals to save busting a gut. 
Seriously, here's hoping it has all gone well (just got up and it's probably all over by now) and you feel like a new woman....
.... I hear change is as good as a holiday. 
I would though stay away from any of the curried cabbage for a while.
Don't worry, I'll be making shure of that... don't want her busting any stitches.
