stone and urinary tract do not really belong together
You're darned tootin' they don't belong together!!!
Believe me, I speak from experience.
My doctor told me not to stress, that "they'll pass in time". Yeah, right!
What he neglected to tell me was that it'd feel worse than a dose of clap and having the urethera scraped clean with a strand of rusty barbed wire.
Doc: "Now be sure to drink plenty of water.... and remember, try to hold on for as long as you can to build up some pressure. That should help eject the stones more easily.
Me: "What if I don't drink water? Fish do rude things in it, you know!!!"
Doc: "Don't be silly, water won't hurt you."
So I went home, turned on the tap and lay under it for about half an hour with my mouth open. Well!!!! He did say drink plenty of water... and I wasn't taking any chances that that/those stones were getting stuck halfway down my piddling equipment.
Yeah, right!!! Despite the gallons of water, one got stuck halfway out. And it was a big sucker, too.
Imagine a boa or python after its just swallowed a medicine ball. Well that's what my piddling equipment looked like... halfway down there's this enormous lump that's three times bigger around than the rest of it. And OWWEEEE, did I mention that it hurt like a bitch?
It was at that time I started eying off the fire hose. I'd seen it on TV, in prison riot movies and the like, so I figured I was gonna hook up to the fire hose in the hallway and blast that sucker right out of there.
Yup, that did the trick orright, in more ways than one. Not only did the kidney stone become dislodged, thus avoiding the medicos having to go in after it, I didn't need to go into day surgery and get the colon cleansing I'd been booked in for. However, I digress, as the solution left me with another dilemma... how I was going to dislodge the golf ball-sized kidney stone that had embedded itself deep in the bathroom wall.
Not being much of a home handyman, I didn't have the necessary tools, and I wasn't going to bend the missus good silver, so I got in a handyman trained for such situations. Well he managed to dig it out after a couple of hourss... not to mention attempts and a few broken tools - geez that thing must've had some force behind it - and now, if I wear a supportive back brace, and only if I do, I wear it on a gold chain after taking it to a jeweller to get it mounted in a clasp.
All's well that ends well! Not that I'm suggesting you'll have to resort to a fire hose or anything.
