My new one keeps making excuses to pop up...
On a recent current affair program here in Oz, they did a story on a landlord from hell... one of his pet tricks was letting himself in while female tenants were in the shower, to come out stark naked and find him sitting on their bed waiting for them. His excuse was often alomng the lines of delivering mail, checking to see if any maintenance needed doing, etc, etc. Slimy piece of shit... would have gotten his nose flattened against one or both of his earlobes if he'd done anything like that to my missus... she has zero tolerance and a nasty temper for people like that. Luckily for me, she reckons that I'm lovable when I'm full of sass like that.
I LOVE it, starkers! I LOVE it! Stuck it to him right and proper.
Yep, I'll stick it good and proper to anyone who deserves it. Like the time I was helping out a mate who worked in the stables at a local racecourse. Part of his job description was to muck ut the stables and take the horse shit (for want of a better word) to a treatment plant to be disposed of properly: howver, because there were people in the area who liked to put the manure on the gardens, he would sometimes drive around and give it to them. On the day that I was there lending him a hand, his boss discovered what he was doing and threatened to fire him if he gave the 'manure' away to anyone. I mean, like what harm was he doing? It wasn't like the stable owners actually wanted the stuff, and he certainly wasn't making a profit from anything of value that the stable owners wanted... so I hatched this plan to fill the stable manager's Mercedes convertible with it instead.
I don't like well-to-do people who believe they are better than us ordinary folk... it's like their shit don't stink and we're not good enough, so it serves the bastard right for threatening to fire my mate for wanting to help out a few people. Well it was worth it if he was going to get fired anyway... so half the truckload went into the Merc, and the other half went to the people who could make use of it.