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Wish Someone Would Invent!

angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

Wish Someone Would Invent!

Real things, crazy things, pictures of things, all useful or not. Please keep it clean.

A zipper you can't get caught in.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

Quoting messiah1,

reply 25

Where would you go?

Why, where no man has gone before of course.

Don't need Warp drive, m1...just a colonoscope.

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Fuzzy Logic

Join Date 05/2002

+486

Don't need Warp drive, m1...just a colonoscope.

Unless you are in prison, in which case the statement would read "Where every man has gone before..."

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mickeko

Join Date 09/2008

+126

To get back on topic before this REALLY get out of hand.. ...

Wish someone would invent...

A civilized population civilizer... Then the civilized world could perhaps be civilized, as it claims to be... Now that would be wonderful.

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Jafo

Join Date 03/2001

+1359

An Admin button which, when pressed enables a hand to reach through the appropriate recipient's monitor and strangle the last breath out of some twit who patently deserves it.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

I guess that would depend on your def of "sivilized", wouldn't it?

How about a "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you button"? Only it works on EVERYONE equally and simultaneously. My oh my.

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messiah1

Join Date 10/2005

+434

A monitor that senses a hand coming through it and chops it off guillotine style.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

anti-hand security suite including hand wall, antispy handware, antikeystroke and trojan handware, updates and nail clippers.

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Snowman

Join Date 03/2001

+343

Where would you go?

Home

(Any other place is better than this dump)

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A mind controlled mouse and keyboard.

A real-life restore point function.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

Quoting Wizard1956,

reply 9

A mind controlled mouse and keyboard.

A real-life restore point function.

It's called your *Wand*

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mickeko

Join Date 09/2008

+126

Quoting DrJBHL,

I guess that would depend on your def of "sivilized", wouldn't it? How about a "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you button"? Only it works on EVERYONE equally and simultaneously. My oh my.

People have too different views on what might be appropriate for others to do unto them.

I mean... Some people think it's ok to get a gentle slap on the bottom every now and then, it doesn't make it right for them to give every other person a gentle slap on the bottom, does it?

I suggest something like a "Give other the same freedom of choice as you expect to get from them"-button with "applied common sense (tm)" included...

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HG_Eliminator

Join Date 07/2002

+354

A way to read my wifes Mind ( as she some how seems to think Im supposed to be able to do this already). As well as a Translation device to decypher the data.

HG_Eliminator heads off to his nothing box...

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

HG_E: From one man's experiene:

A Woman's Language, translated to English:

Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
She's cute = She's ugly
He's hot = He's hot

Do you think I look pretty? = I look pretty, and you should say I do too
What's are you doing right now? = Nothing because you're bored without me.
I don't want anything for (my birthday/Christmas) = Surprise me with more than your empty hands.
What are you doing tomorrow? = Want to do something with me tomorrow?
Who was that? = Who do I need to kill?
How much money do you have? = How much of your money can I spend?
Do you think that girl is pretty? = You better not think that girl is pretty.
Call me = Call me or I'll make you cry

A Woman's Behavior, analyzed:

Laughs a lot = Flirt with me.
Watch out. These women will kill you by playing on your pride. Use the buddy system to stay above water and not drown in their flattery.

Glares a lot = I want to kill you.

Watch out X 2. Travel in packs around girls that do this. You need at least four men. One to fight her off/hold her back, and three to run for help. I personally like to do the latter.

Talks to herself = I've heard of girls whispering, "The end is near" randomly…um…see solution to "Glares a lot."

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mickeko

Join Date 09/2008

+126

Quoting HG_Eliminator,

reply 12

A way to read my wifes Mind ( as she some how seems to think Im supposed to be able to do this already). As well as a Translation device to decypher the data.

HG_Eliminator heads off to his nothing box...

I have a feeling that even the most successful attempts on such a device would render a result like this;

"Checking target marital status"

"Activating listen mode (Wife)"

"Incoming mindwaves (Channel Wife)"

"applying random emotion algorithm"

"extracting fragments of reasonably fulfillable wishes..."

"Failed translating data to male action patterns; TARGET returns [Male Logical Processing Unit, incompatible version (husband), expected roses and chocolate. Activating fryingpan retreival process]"

I tried to make it as non-gender-biased as possible... But I'm not so sure I succeeeded.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

Quoting mickeko,

reply 11

DrJBHL I guess that would depend on your def of "sivilized", wouldn't it? How about a "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you button"? Only it works on EVERYONE equally and simultaneously. My oh my.

People have too different views on what might be appropriate for others to do unto them.

I mean... Some people think it's ok to get a gentle slap on the bottom every now and then, it doesn't make it right for them to give every other person a gentle slap on the bottom, does it?

I suggest something like a "Give other the same freedom of choice as you expect to get from them"-button with "applied common sense (tm)" included...

I should have used the original... R' Hillel said:

Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you.

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mickeko

Join Date 09/2008

+126

Quoting DrJBHL,

reply 15

I should have used the original... R' Hillel said:

Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you.

Though It doesn't invalidate my point anyway...

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+2376

Merde Je T'dit! Some one should spank him!

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mickeko

Join Date 09/2008

+126

Me, R' Hillel or both of us? I'm sure we both have done things to deserve it,

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A remote that control's your children.. set permanently to CLEAN YOUR ROOM SON.

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

I think I need someone to invent a monitor poo guard. The big monkey declared war.

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messiah1

Join Date 10/2005

+434

I think I need someone to invent a monitor poo guard. The big monkey declared war.

You can try, but you can't possibly stop it all.

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WebGizmos

Join Date 09/2003

+716

Yeah! Even the monkey's know how bad that can be!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrUmzZkF8tU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prtsIbjTjQc&feature=related

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1129

I wish somebody would invent portable potholes... so that when you hit one you can reverse, pick it up and move it outside of fat arsed bureaucrats houses to annoy the crap out of them instead.

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A download button that automatically sent the skinner a free pizza.Toppings of their choice,of course.

"A remote that control's your children" with a mute button also.

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1129

I wish somebody would invent an automated curried cabbage gas capture device... to save me having to sit on these little jars several... er, hundreds of times every day.

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