Message from Her Majesty The Queen
They're Baaack! If one by land, if two by sea...
Dear Your Most Majestic Highness:
Still pissed off about 1776 huh? Talk about holding a grudge, not that I blame you, we all knew that General Lord Cornwallis was a terrible choice. Oh and if you check our US Webster Dictionary, you'll find his picture right next to the word "Incompetent."
And I take it that bit of assistance back in 1941-45 didn't matter much to you either. But it's cool, just remember, if we wouldn't have stepped in, you'd still be getting your ass kicked to this day by that weird guy from Austria with the funny little mustache! Ask your Homeboy Winston.
So now what do we do? Replace American Football, Basketball and Baseball with English Rugby, Soccer, Cricket and Polo? Hmmm, Manchester United or the Dodgers? Everton vs Newcastle or Lakers vs Celtics? Tough choice.
I'm telling you now Queenie your 13 Colonies are in friggin shambles! Do you really want North New Jersey, Harlem and East Philadelphia back under your rule? I mean if you do, go ahead, I'm all the way in California and wouldn't miss 'em no how.
The rest of the country is pretty much all screwed up as well, except for maybe Montana and North Dakota, they just suck.
May I suggest strongly that you turn your precious Royal Fleet around now while you still have the chance, watch cautiously for old leftover U-Boats, The Ghost of The Bismark and French made Exocet Anti-Ship Missiles (remember the HMS Sheffield in '82? Ironic, wasn't it?), be happy that you took the Falkland Islands back in 1982, and forget about Hollywood!
Oh and would you please take Pierce Brosnan back with you too!
God Save The Queen, especially if she tries to walk through South Central Los Angeles!
Just Another Damn Yank!