Postie arrived today with a sackful of nothing.... and geez I'm pissed.  

Got a bill for nothing! 

Gonna contest it tho... I know I didn't order nothing.

Ah, so that was you.... but I only deal in cash!  Monopoly money be alright????

There is no such thing as nothing!

For every something there is a nothing.

And it sucks when you have more nothings than somethings

When I was a kid the only time i saw something was as Christmas

But we were so poor mum took it back to the store for a refund when it next opened.

Then I was back to having nothing again, so I'd put it in my pocket and roll it around in my fingers to pass the time.

Things got a little better when I was a teenager, tho.... I won another nothing in a raffle.

So then I mostly passed the time of day with both hands rolling them around in my pockets.

Trouble was, all the other kids used to tease me and accuse me of doing something else.

None of them ever believed I was playing with nothing and that was embarrassing.

So to avoid the teasing and being called "Master Bates", I left my nothings in a drawer at home and went out without them.

I finally got something I could call my own when I was in my mid-twenties and I was so proud.

Well it wasn't something really... it was 3 nothings put together, but they were so concentrated they felt like something.

But still I got ridiculed and laughed at by the blokes down the pub.

They saw me with my hands in my pockets playing with my 3 nothings and kept saying that I should oughta get married

Well I did that and now I've always got something.

I mightn't always like what I've got, but it's beats the heck out of nothing.

The space between atoms.

OK... when the Berlin Wall came down, I did NOTHING to contribute to its demise.

And nothing exists within a vacuum.

Nothing exists in the folder created for the WB's I've made.

There's nothing in my shares portfolio

Worse still, stere's nothing in my bank account.... and don't say there's $0.00... I withdrew that as well.

Now if you don't hear from me again, it's because I'm about to divulge something that's been declared a matter of US National Security and is known only by a handful of people very, very close to the White House....

George Dubbya has nothing between his ears.... a fact his personal physician discovered George went to him complaining of earache.

Yup, the doc shone the light in George Dubbya's ear and noticed it was shining on his nurses uniform on the other side.

I know many of you over there already suspected this, but the poor doc was held by the NSA until he was totally brainwashed, was administered sodium pentathol to be sure he'd forgotten, and then forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement.... so ssshhhhhh.

The first is no secret, so I don't mind who you tell...

but for crying out lound don't tell anybody it was me who revealed GWB has nought between the ears.

I'm already paranoid cos of the black van outside with a big G on it after rubbishing Google.

If another turns up with GWB on it I'll need resuccitation and tranquilisers.

'Attention'

This thread has been kidnapped, the ransome is as follows....

"We demand nothing, we want nothing and we will do nothing if our demands are not met."

Yeah, he's gonna get it orright....how dare he kidnap this thread!!

Sure SK started it... but a whole load of people went to a great deal of effort to contribute their nothings, which under copyright law is their intellectual property and can not be kidnap.... ripped from their possession without consent...

Therefore, SK, being that I am a major contributor of nothind, demand that you unkidnap our nothings and return them to their rightful place.

Would that be Nowhere?

I have nothing to contribute to this thread. I'm just checking to see why all the threads stopped updating at 12:45pm on my screen. oh, and I am going to have fun playing with the new smilies.. just cause I can hehe.... that'd be wulfn3.... ooh devious looks too!! I like!! ok that was fun....hehe

[edit] hmmmm.... the editor lets you resize the smilies, but they go back to normal after you hit submit button... what no "shrug" smilie?... bummer.