"Mine was old the day after I bought it. So I named mine simply - OBSOLETE! Full name is (Obsolete Piece Of Junk)."
At the rate PC technology moves these days, it was obsolete the day the store put it on the shelf... so in computer terms maybe you could have named it Prehistoric. Hehe.
External HDD = Outhouse (no, it isn't because someone in an earlier post suggested it. it's been called that for over a year)
I always knowed we thunk alike... that be wot I calls mine, too.