I am Tag Hauer of Borg... we have dropped our sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods because he was using our watches to time the duration of his infidelities.
I am Nike of Borg... we are sticking by Tiger Woods and have a new promotion for our running shoes: "Wear Nike runners like Tiger and you'll catch dozens of women, too!"
I am Jack Daniels of Borg... given how much Tiger Woods is drinking to drown his sorrows these days, maybe we could strike up a sponsorship deal to promote safe sex through 'distillers droop'.
I am Elin Woods of Gorg... well I don't care about any of this sponsorship stuff. I'm divorcing Tiger for every hole he played after the 18th.
I am Bill Clinton of Borg... before you sever all ties, Elin, do you think that you could snaffle Tiger's little black book and pass it on to me?