A husband and wife were taking golf lessons at their local links and he had become quite good at it so was able to get a game with any of the members there.
However, his wife was struggling with the whole concept and was so poor nobody would play a round with her, much to her distress after paying thousands of dollars for months and months of lessons.
One afternoon she was at the 19th hole commisurating to a friend that she's spent so much money yet was still useless at golf and really needed help if she was to ever get a game.... that where on earth would she find such help when all the coaches had all but given up on her.
Her friend then told her that the course professional had a coaching vacancy available due to a cancellation and that she should approach him, which she did. It was agreed that they would meet at the first hole at sunrise and he would coach her around the course to the 18th hole... on the proviso she did everything he instructed her to do.
The next morning at sunrise the pair met as arranged and the professional asked her to tee up and take a shot so he could examine her swing for faults and imperfections, etc.
As instructed, the woman teed up and took the shot, which left the ball still in place and a large divot sailing down the main fairway....
"Madam," he said: "your form is all wrong and you're never going to make a sweet connection with the ball with a grip and swing like that. How long have you been taking lessons?"
She nervously answered with: "About 18 months or so, I guess." and then began to cry.
"Look, there's no need to cry, I am the professional and I'm sure we'll get this sorted out for you. First off, your grip on the club is all wrong! You are married, aren't you??"
"Why yes I am, but my husband is so much better at this than I am."
The professional told her not to worry about that and to concentrate on her own game: "OK, now I want you to tee up again, but this time I want you to hold the club like you would your husband's sex organ"
"Oh!!!", she said, and did as she was instructed. Her swing was perfect and the ball sailed 900 yards down the main fairway, landed on the green, rolled about 3 feet and plopped right into the hole.
"WOW!!!", he said: that was a magnificent shot!! I am astounded at the difference between your first attempt and the second, it's a 200 percent improvement."
With that, she felt a whole lot better about herself and produced her first ever smile on the golf course.
"Now", he said: I want you to do that again... only this time, I want you to take the club out of your mouth and put it in your hands."