I tried the gum. Ech!
I tried the patch. I had to explain to the doctor at th ER that I actually COULD read and that if I could quit smoking I wouldn't NEED the patch, so why was he more surprised than I was that I actually smoked with the damn thing on. 'You're the one with the fucking medical degree! You tell me what I was thinking!"
I tried hypnosis. The FIRST time I had laughing fits. Fits that lasted hours. In the middle of a meeting with my DM. I had to go back the next night and have it undone. The SECOND time was 3 years later. I lasted six months, married my first wife, had the landlady tell me a month later that my apartment was busier than the McDonalds drive thru..."One goin' out the front door as another comes in the backdoor" and well.....I think I smoked 6 packs just that night.
Last time was about two years ago. Tried cold turkey. You ever seen that episode of Roseanne where everyone goes into a panic when they find out she is menstrating? My wife begged me to buy a pack.
Sigh.
It's finally caught up to me. My doctor, who saw me after he sent me for the 'test' pretty much flipped out when I said the nurse that tested me said it was only 'mild' emphasema. "There is no such thing as MILD emphasema!" Two weeks later, while doing a CT on my kidneys or something other than my lungs, it caught something in my lungs. Another CT said it's an 11mm 'growth'. I guess by calling it a 'growth' I'm supposed to feel better. My doctor (the one who says 'It's like saying you're a little PREGNANT!') said 'We'll have to keep an eye on that. HA! You see, that's funny because my eyes just strated going. It seems the gel that holds them together is liquifying and pulling at the retina causing them to tear and get holes. So now I see flashing lights and bugs in my peripherol vision that aren't there. Let's keep an eye on THAT! Try explaining to folks you're not tripping or going through the DT's when they see you swatting at bugs that aren't there.
Shit. I need a cigarette.