With a narcissist or OCD'er - you can't win. They are fragile, and brittle and see challenges in the weather report. The only way "to win" is to know who you are dealing with, to recognize the need 'to win' in one's self and not play the game... "It takes two to tango."
This is something I'm guilty of... the profession taught 'never give up' in the past (as well as to be 'perfect' but that's different now).
Thank G-d for Jafo who's there to teach (as well as Hankers, WOM, Lantec, HG and Snowby... bless you guys). Thanks for doing it gently.