Uvah is so old... he choked a prehistoric Venus Flytrap on one of his tailor made farts, after which, he barfed because he'd never seen as dead body, and that fossilised upchuck today is in the Smithsonian Institute to determined whether or not it is of human origin or that of something quite peculiar and possibly of alien beginnings.
Jafo is so old... the first dictionary he bought actually pre-dated Cuneiform and actually spelled out various prehistoric uggs, grunts and groans.
HG Eliminator is so old... he vaguely remembers moderating the Roman forums and predicting the Ides of March.
XX is so old... Hipparchus and Ptolemy drew him crude charts so he knew where the moon was.
sydneysiders is so old... historians attribute her with being the person who devised the contraption to prevent women of ancient Mykonos getting saggy breasts. The French later claimed fame and called it the brassiere.
DrJBHL is so old... he endorsed the wearing of this contraption, but only after recommending various adjustments and wearing one himself.
Wizard1956 is so old... one wave of his wand once destined the entire island of Lesbos to lust after the same sex... and today men still have major fantasies about it.
Fuzzy Logic is so old... he spent his Summer holidays on Mykonos in the hope of realising his fantasy with a threesome.
CarGuy is so old... there's actually a record of him speeding chariots through the streets of Babylon and getting a severe warning from Hammurabi for endangering the safety of police officers on point duty.
JuniorCrooks is so old... he gave the cops sass from the passenger seat and made several rude gestures that the speed limit was only for virgins who still borrowed daddy's chariot.
Mike B1954 is so old... he was the magistrate who sentenced JuniorCrooks to community service and ordered that he watered the Hanging Gardens of Babylon for 200 hours.
RickJP is so old... he invented the watering can to make the job easier.
Xiandi is so old... she would have named her Garnet Storm WB Viking Forge instead, but didn't want to give away her age.
WOM is so old... his first moderation job was assessing cave paintings.
Hankers is so old... he auditioned for Michelangelo to see if he could appear in the mural on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
And WebGizmos is so old... he declined an invitation the appear in the Sistine Chapel mural because he had acne and a rash on his bottom.
Now for something completely different....
Paul McCartney is so old... he was reluctant to get into an arse kicking competition with Heather Mills until his doctor prescribed anti-inflammatories that allowed him to lift his arthritic leg.
Ringo Starr is so old... he wanted to join in but his artificial hips only allow for a 22% lift.
Eric Clapton is so old... he does finger exercises while his guitar gently weeps.
George Thorogood is so old.... he has decided to write rap music (well so-called music) and change his name to NoGood.
Cyndi Lauper is so old.... her latest single is entitled 'Decrepit Old Ladies Still Want to Have Fun'
Ozzy Osbourne is so old.... he has to put in his false teeth to bite the head off a gnat.
Alice Cooper is so old... his snake rang Social Security to inquire about the pension.
Tom Petty is so old.... he forgot and rang back to find out why "you don't come around here", anymore.
And Tom Jones is so old... he'd completely forgotten 'Why, Why Delilah' and now is content to peacefully watch out over the 'Green, Green Grass of Home'
Yeah, I know! But having a life in this day and age on a disability is too darned expensive. 