Gulf Update - Head for the Hills

The Plume Groweth

By on June 7, 2010 9:00:40 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums External Link

DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002
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True to Doc's never ending quest for Truth, here's an Update....the kind WC'ers need to remain relevant in this rapidly changing world.

I know you dedicated pixel pushers have little if any time to view news, so this one might just save your lives.

The gusher is spreading and threatening to bury us all alive in....well, read for yourselves, my friends.

 

This Post is dedicated to my friend Web(doc made me do it)Gizmos who really cares passionately about this topic. Thanks for caring so much, WG.

 

News
Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters

June 7, 2010 | ISSUE 46•23

 

LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.

The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.

"Everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest," said BP CEO Tony Hayward, letting loose a colossal stream of undiluted bullshit. "The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean, and the volume of oil we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total volume of water."


Hayward's comments fueled fears that the spouting of overwhelmingly thick and slimy bullshit may never subside.

According to sources, the sheer quantity of bullshit pouring out of Hayward is unprecedented, and it has thoroughly drenched the coastlines of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, with no end in sight.

Though no one knows exactly how much of the dangerous bullshit is currently gushing from BP headquarters, estimates put the number at somewhere between 25,000 and 70,000 words a day.

"We're looking at a truly staggering load of shit here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."

Congressional hearings aimed at stopping the bullshit have thus far failed to do so, with officials from BP and its contractors Halliburton and Transocean only adding to the powerful torrents of bullshit by blaming one another for the accident.

Along with the region's wildlife and fragile ecosystem, countless livelihoods have been jeopardized by BP's unchecked flow of corporate shit. Those who depend on fishing or tourism for their income are already feeling the noxious effects of the bullshit firsthand, as out-of-control platitudes begin to reach land and seep ashore.


Dense streams of shit are expected to continue spreading throughout the region and the entire United States.

"This bullshit, it's everywhere," said Louisiana fisherman Doug LaRoux, who lost his house to a tide of government bullshit following Hurricane Katrina. "It reeks. Big buckets of disgusting shit are oozing everywhere you look and I don't know if it's ever going to stop. I feel helpless"

Added LaRoux, "I never thought I'd be the victim of so much bullshit."

Observers have noted that after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, corporate bullshit gushed up like a geyser for two decades and didn't wane until the oil company had bullshit its way through an exhaustive process of court appeals that ultimately reduced payouts to victims by 90 percent.

Despite Hayward's denials that BP is at fault for the environmental disaster and his concern that it will result in "illegitimate" American lawsuits, the embattled CEO has still managed to trickle out a few last drips of bullshit sympathy for Gulf Coast residents.

"I'm as devastated as you are by this," Hayward said after a meeting with cleanup crews on Louisiana's Fourchon Beach. "We will clean every last drop up and we will remediate all of the environmental damage."

"There's no one that wants this thing over with more than I do," he added a week later, just absolutely defying belief with the thickest, most dangerous bullshit yet. "I'd like my life back."

Millions of Americans reported feeling ill and disoriented upon contact with that particularly vile plume of bullshit.

Many environmentalists, including Palmer, have called for a boycott of BP until the bullshit stops or is at least under control, but they emphasize that in the long term, Americans will have to change their habits if they wish to avoid future catastrophes.

"We must all work together if we're going to cure our nation of this addiction," Palmer said. "The sad fact is, the United States has been running on bullshit for decades."

 

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June 7, 2010 9:28:53 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Head for the Hills?      Damn Doc, don't send 'em here!     

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June 7, 2010 9:30:52 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Sorry...

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June 7, 2010 10:09:35 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

What is the SPF rating? 

As hot as it has been I could use some oil so I don't burn up.

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June 7, 2010 10:58:10 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

What's needed is some back-pressure to force the oil downward until they can cap the leak.   If Tony Hayward's bullshit isn't sufficient to stem the flow of oil, then he should be forced to eat several helpings of triple concentrated curried cabbage and made to sit trousers down atop the pipe feeding directly into the breach.  And he should be force-fed curried cabbage until either the leak is stopped or he turns a permanent yellowy green.

I'd volunteer for the job myself if it weren't for me arthritic hips and other parts.... sitting atop a pipe like that wouldn't be too comfortable, even with a bit of padding.

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June 7, 2010 11:53:12 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

It's getting deeper by the minute.

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June 8, 2010 12:14:58 AM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

It's getting deeper by the minute.

One has to wonder if BP is more concerned with preserving its assets and the well... rather than taking decisive action to plug it?  Surely some well placed explosives could/would take care of that... so the well implodes on itself and creates a seal.  It would mean, of course, BP would have to spend several more millions to sink another well to replace it, though I imagine it's costing them more and more every day this disaster isn't fixed.

One would hope company economics isn't the cause of the delay.

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June 8, 2010 5:31:00 AM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

company economics isn't the cause of the delay.

That's dry humor! 

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June 8, 2010 9:30:02 AM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Sad thing is , it's true. Every time I see Tony Hayward speak on the news I cringe.

 

Head for the Hills? Damn Doc, don't send 'em here!

I'll be up in your neck of the woods this weekend. If you see a redneck tourist, don't shoot.

What's the weather going to be like in the Cherokee, Maggie Valley area this weekend?

 

 

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June 8, 2010 12:44:14 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

That's dry humor!

Fortunately, it's not as wet as BP's oil or Tony Hayward's bullshit.

Sad thing is , it's true. Every time I see Tony Hayward speak on the news I cringe.

All the more reason to sit him atop that pipe.  With a bit of luck a spark will turn it into a large bunsen burner of sorts.

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June 8, 2010 1:47:49 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

With a bit of luck a spark will turn it into a large bunsen burner of sorts.

"Houston, we have liftoff!"

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June 8, 2010 7:30:04 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

BP announced launching the biggest environmental response in history today. I guess that was in response the their almost biggest environmental disaster in history.

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June 8, 2010 8:11:19 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Quoting WebGizmos,
BP announced launching the biggest environmental response in history today. I guess that was in response the their almost biggest environmental disaster in history.

Funny thing about 'superlatives'....the "biggest environmental response" is nowhere near adequate for " nearlythe biggest environmental disaster".

Just going to prove that the biggest environmental disaster of all is the species laughably called Homo "sapiens".

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June 8, 2010 10:43:32 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

"Houston, we have liftoff!"

And toasted nuts to go with that sundae.

Just going to prove that the biggest environmental disaster of all is the species laughably called Homo "sapiens".

Though some have evolved.... and are now Homo Anihillus Destructus... who are often funded by Homo Greedus Bankerus, and given the green light by Homo Politicus Inflictus

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June 11, 2010 11:31:07 AM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Now the Brits are telling us to "shut up" about BP.  They apparently think Obama and the press is being too hard on their good ole boys led by the inefffective Tony Hayward.  To put it in British terms "bolderdash"!  Just clean up your mess and turn off the $50 M dollar PR campaign.  By the way, how is the release of the Lockerbie bomber (which was done through the back door to benefit BP) looking these days?

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June 11, 2010 1:36:23 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Every hour of every day there is an update of how much oil the other person thinks has leaked. Millions of dollars have been spent on trying to figure out how much oil is in the ocean and it's still being spent. Than we have who did this and who did that.

Right now who really gives a damn as we all know there is a lot of oil on and in the ocean and it needs to be stopped from leaking and cleaned up. Why isn't all the money and resources being use on the two main problems. Stopping the leak and cleaning it up instead of paying people to guess about the amount of oil that leaked.

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June 11, 2010 2:11:33 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

 

Quoting DaveBax,
Every hour of every day there is an update of how much oil the other person thinks has leaked. Millions of dollars have been spent on trying to figure out how much oil is in the ocean and it's still being spent. Than we have who did this and who did that.

Right now who really gives a damn as we all know there is a lot of oil on and in the ocean and it needs to be stopped from leaking and cleaned up. Why isn't all the money and resources being use on the two main problems. Stopping the leak and cleaning it up instead of paying people to guess about the amount of oil that leaked.

I agree with DaveBax. 

Wonder why the folks in control don't see it that way? 

Oh, maybe there isn't anyone in control.

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June 11, 2010 2:17:56 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

instead of paying people to guess about the amount of oil that leaked.

"Ere, c'mon, I know exactly how much has been spilled and I want the money.... SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!

Oh, and it's .0001 of a millimeter too much, btw, but my entry's already in so you're already too late.

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June 11, 2010 2:19:13 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

There is still a 70 million dollar cap on BP's civil liability although they are trying to change that in Congress as we speak.  However there is another provision in the law which relates to penalties and can exceed $4000 per barrel ie. per 42 gallons of petroleum leaked into the Gulf.  The amount of leakage is very relevant to BP because it directly determines their exposure for the ultimate penalty assessed.  Hence the lower BP estimates and the importance of getting an accurate determination of the amout leaking.  It's about the money they will ultimately be called upon to pay.

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June 11, 2010 6:45:38 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

A $70 million cap!!!

Something wrong with the US law by the sounds of it.

 

Quoting Philly0381,
Wonder why the folks in control don't see it that way?  

Baaaaa ....  "Work and make us more money"

 

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June 11, 2010 8:01:11 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

No amount of money is going to 'fix' this. As for the estimates of the leak? Only to help plan how long and where to prepare for the 'clean up' (now there's a fine laugh).

Tony Hayward and his band of know nothing spin shmucks are busy figuring how to cheat widows/orphans and retired folks of their dividends in order to shore up his gazillion dollar cash flow.

The Brits are unhappy about the bad publicity? Boo-hoo. How about the species and food chains that are being erased by their greedy, criminal negligence? How about the people who've lost their incomes and way of life in all this?

I wonder what the Scots would have done to BP had this happened in the North Sea and this stuff washed up on their shores?

*doc has a flash of William Wallace skewering the board of BP and turning them into a fine haggis. 

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June 11, 2010 9:01:56 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

  can't believe they spent 50 mill to make themselves look better.....how many people with buckets and detergent washing birds/wildlife would that have employed....and some instant help for the locals......

wonder if James Cameron can help them come up with something....

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June 11, 2010 9:51:25 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

how many people with buckets and detergent washing birds/wildlife would that have employed....and some instant help for the locals......

You think they care? They know that they're selling what everyone needs, so who cares what anyone thinks?

They've got everyone by the short and curlies, and that's the way it'll stay until further notice.

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June 11, 2010 11:12:42 PM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

Seems to me, Tony Hayward is a penny pinching, lily livered gutless wonder who needs a good swift kick in the rectum with a steel capped rig boot.  I would've said gonads, but if he had any balls he'd have taken this spill by the scruff of the neck and found a speedy solution, rather than pussy footing around with "Guess how much oil we're spilling" contests and pretending to be concerned.

Oh, and seeing as Tony Hayward wasn't collared to sit atop the pipe and create a backdraft, I did volunteer for the job if all curried cabbage meals were provided.  However, Congress voted against it... reckoned it's cos, regardless of how much refining, they'd never get the smell out of the oil...

"Given this oil would be destined for US markets, we could not risk our highways being contaminated by the waft of curried cabbage.  We thank the Australians for their offer of assistance, but thanks but no thanks"

Congressman Staines.

With a name like that, I don't know that he has a lot of room to talk, but oh well.

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June 12, 2010 2:00:35 AM from WinCustomize Forums WinCustomize Forums

The mayor of London does not care for the BP bashing in the USA.  Who are we going to hear from next? The Sheriff of Nottingham?  If this oil was washing up on the shores of Britain, we might think that the mayor of London was relevant to the discussion.  But since it isn't, he isn't!

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