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Philly0381

Join Date 11/2004

+844

Think your Grandmother never has fun?

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home When an old Grandpa walked by.

One of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, "We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison..."We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

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mrs_starkers

Join Date 09/2006

+556

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

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Fuzzy Logic

Join Date 05/2002

+497

Grandad and his grandson were in the garden playing when the little boy pulled a worm out of the lawn.

"That's really clever" said grandad. "I tell you what, I'll give you £10 if you can get it back down the hole".

The little boy promptly went into the kitchen and fetched a can of spray starch. He straightened the worm, sprayed it, then popped it back down the hole.

Admitting defeat, grandad went into the house to fetch some money.

When he got back he said "That was very clever son, here's the £10 I owe you - and here's £20 from your grandmother..."

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starkers

Join Date 05/2004

+1153

While at work one day, a young man had a nasty accident and lost his todger in a press, meaning it was too badly damaged to be re-attached.

"Not to worry," said the attending surgeon: "I've spoken with various male members of your family and they've all agreed to donate and inch each, which, using modern medical science can be joined together and grafted to your vacant groin."

Well the surgery was successful and the young man was discharged from hospital a few days later, with the instruction to come back in six weeks for a checkup.... which he attended without fail.

"So," asked the sugeon: "how is it all going?"

"Not so bad, doc," replied the young man: "though occasionally I suffer with incontinence."

"Ah yes, that would be due to the bit from your grandad." said the surgeon: "but other than that, have you any other problems, like urination, for example?"

"Oh no, doc," replied the young man: "I'm pissing like a trooper!"

"That's good, very good, in fact! Any other issues to mention?"

"Come to think of it, which I do, now that you mention it, I do have a problem when I get aroused and want to make love to my wife.... you went and put grandad's bit in the middle."

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