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Make Me Laugh

PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

Make Me Laugh

I don't ask much from you all (at least I don't think I do...except to put up with my sh**..I dunno...) but I'm having a real sh** couple of weeks. I just gotta hold out until the 11th for my nerve block and the drugs aren't cutting it. I've been watching a lot of 'House' (I love that freaking show) and 'Family Guy' to keep my mind off of the pain and the fact that I can't paint the livingroom and kitchen before Christams for my wife. (I can't do it on the drugs and without them I can barely walk let alone bend and all that good stuff)

So...give me some distraction, will ya? Make me laugh, please. And don't worry about being in good taste and all. I can't remeber the last time I was offended.

I'm counting on you. I want to leave work, go home, boot up the PC and pee myself laughing. (Not that I don't pee myself now, but this way I have an excuse)

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hemanherecomes
Skinhit
angus1949

Vampothika

Join Date 07/2006

+590

i hate those math questions doc...lol they suck, here is one i made up: its just as screwy:

A man got on a train at Liverpool, he rode 2km to get to his destination Rockworth. The trip took 3 hours, and the ticket cost

him 7.50. What was the name of the train driver?

yeah.....what the fuck???? i HATE THOSE MATH QUESTIONS !!!

PS: Po i wish i could send you a dvd of the funniest show here in aus its called 'Swift and Shift' its on sbs and its sooo FUCKING FUNNY!! i love it, and almost choke from laughing so fucking hard.

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+4291

As his last action in the White House, lame-duck president George W. Bush will mandate that all gas stations play porn at the pump so you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time you are.

An executive had to take a business trip overseas, so he entrusted his assistant with the job of keeping an eye on his wife. If anything out of the ordinary should occur, the assistant was to notify him immediately.
After a week with no contact, the businessman received an email that read "The man who comes to visit your wife every night didn't show up yesterday."

The only time politicians tell the truth is when they call each other liars.

As a man entered a bar to meet a friend he noticed two pretty girls looking at him.
"Nine," one whispered.
Feeling pretty pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy and reported that a girl had just rated him a nine out of 10.
"I don't want to ruin it for you," his friend said, "but when I walked in they were speaking German."

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Too sick to work..

Hung Chow calls into work and says,"Hey I no come work today, I really sick.. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come to work".

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel sick like you do, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work, you try that."

Two hours later hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great! I be at work soon..... You got nice house!"

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hehe Good one, I've heard that before

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

Hey po', just in case you didn't know.

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vStyler

Join Date 11/2004

+919

http://www.livevideo.com/video/58BC7DE30EF1485BB56C98964B4CA323/holiday-ambiance.aspx

Continuing with fart humor, if this dont make u laugh, nothing will.

Merry Christmas!

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

In the genre.........

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

Hey po', just in case you didn't know.

I've heard of people *cough skinhit that actually pay *cough skinhit for someone to dress them up *cough skinhit so they can do that. *cough skinhit

I'm just glad I don't know any personally.

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

I heard somewhere that SkinHit likes to dress up in latex and fart. Could this be true?

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Skinhit

Join Date 11/2004

+516

How about a small tribute? A good one always makes me laugh

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+4291

Doc makes some popcorn and sits back:

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vStyler

Join Date 11/2004

+919

A good one always makes me laugh

Made me laugh!

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

I LOVE #3

#8 nees to be banished. I can't believe Jafo hasn't sent you a PM telling you either burn it or put a fig leaf on it. I'M embaressed for ME when I see that.

i hate you

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Skinhit

Join Date 11/2004

+516

U 2

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Umm.. who is that guy?

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Skinhit

Join Date 11/2004

+516

Why that's none other than the World Famous bitch I slapped Po' Smedley

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Skinhit

Join Date 11/2004

+516

I heard somewhere that SkinHit likes to dress up in latex and fart. Could this be true?

Careful Angus I have a photo of you...

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hehehe An interesting side to you Po

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

Careful Angus I have a photo of you...

Uh Oh!

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+4291

Angus...you can't stir it without some of the.....aroma....wafting your way!

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DrJBHL

Join Date 04/2002

+4291

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES.......$50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying, "JESUS SAVES."

They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "Well, that's a little different, it pertains to religion." So the two ladies took their sign down and took off.

The following day found the same cop in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy bust, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which read...

"TWO ANGELS SEEKING PETER...$50.00."

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PoSmedley

Join Date 04/2005

+788

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkJdEFf_Qg4

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angus1949

Join Date 12/2007

+646

A husband and wife are shopping in Costco's when the man
> picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it into the shopping
> cart.
>
>    "What do you think you're doing?"
> asks the wife."They're on sale today, only $10 for
> 24 cans" he says.
>
>    "Put them back. We can't afford
> it." says the wife and they continue shopping.
>
>    A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20 jar
> of face cream and puts it into the shopping cart.
>
>    "What do you think you're doing?"
> asks the man.
>    "It's my face cream. It makes me look
> beautiful." she says.
>
>    The man replies... "SO DOES 24 CANS OF
> BUDWEISER BEER AND IT'S HALF THE PRICE!"

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messiah1

Join Date 10/2005

+434

To escape from a torrential downpour, a man knocks on a stranger's door and asks if he can come in and wait out the storm. "Sure, come on in" says the homeowner. The traveller asks if it's ok if he smokes and if so, can he have a light. The homeowner says "Sure, go ahead, there's a lighter in that box over there." The guy opens the box and see's the biggest lighter he's ever seen. He say "Where'd you get such a big lighter?" The homeowner says, "Take a look at this" and proceeds to hand him an old bottle. The guy opens it and an ancient Geenie pops out. The Geenie says, "Since you let me out, I'll grant you one wish." The guy says "I want a million bucks." The Geenie says "DONE!" and disappears. All of a sudden, the house is filled with quacking and feathers flying everywhere. The guys says to the homeowner, "I said a million bucks not ducks!" And the homeowner says, "Well, you don't think I asked for a twelve inch Bic do you?"

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