I am Deputy Director Skinner of Borg... I do not believe and think the X-Files are a waste of bureau resources, but if keeping them open means Agent scully is around to perv on, then the X-Files will remain open indefinitely.
I am Special Agent Fox Mulder of Borg.... hah, while most think I donated sperm for Agent Scully to be artificially inseminated, what they don't know is that we actually got down to the unbridled bump and grind of assimilating off camera.
I am Special Agent Alex Kryacek of Borg... yeah, I caught that with my surveillance camara. Coming soon to a seedy cinema near you... don't forget your raincoat.
I am Cancer Man of Borg... you can bet I'll be there on opening night... probably others, too, centre front row with my raincoat and a box of tissues
I am Gone and Here Back Again of Borg...Asimmilation required. You will surrender your essences to my collector Mr. Collector of Borg. If you see him before I do tell him to put the trunk under his front porch. The truck will be there in the morning to pick it up.
I am Uvah of Norg... don't mind me, I think I assimilated too much whacky tobbaccy.
I am Doc of Borg... I told you that whaccky tobbacy was for medicinal purposes... not recreational use.
I am mr. Collector of Borg... the trunk is under my front porch and full of something golden green and glorious to help you assimilate thru the day.
This is the DEA of Borg.... we'll take that trunk, thank you.... haven't had a decent smoke since we arrested Charlie Manson.
How're you doing, Uv... well I hope???
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Now here's my Rx for Chinese food and Visine. Use separately.
I am Optical Patient of Borg.... hey Doc, do you think you can write me a 'script for bucket loads of Visine? I love the taste and it makes me feel great... it's like an aphrodisiac, you know.
I am Chief Chemist of Borg.... hmmm I knew Visine was good for keeping eyelids up, but not implants. Very interesting indeed! Does it help your implant (with its single solitary eye) to see better in the dark.
I am Rick Moranis... this is good news to me. Not only can I dispense with spectacles that have lenses like Coke bottle bottoms ... I can also tell Mrs Moranis: "Honey, I've Enlarged the Implant".
I am Bill Murray of Borg... I swallowed a bottle of Visine once. All it did for me was cause insomnia for a couple of weeks... and my doc called the other side-effect a "priapism".
I am Douglas Benkert of Borg... well that's the last time I take a Viagra before getting home. Was adjusting my... um, 'comfort level' while at the wheel and got arrested for being in charge of a Hot Rod with my 'hot rod' in hand.
Full story (and funny comments) can be seen here
I am Enforcer of Borg...to the DEA agents who stole my trunk. Put it back! Right now or...or...
"Now now junior" says Mrs. Enforcer of Borg to her wayward son......" You can't have your weed and smoke it too. Remember always there are less fortunate Borgettes out there what needs their implants enlivened too. Now run along and be a good little assimilator".
I am DEA Agent Confiscator of Borg... and if I catch you with another trunk of wacky tobaccy, DEA will stand for Demonic Enema Applications... and I'll be asking you to touch your toes.
I'm a lumberjack of Borg, I sleep all night and assimilate all day
This is Aching Tush of Borg...OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW...do it again.
I am Discreet of Borg...get a room. To which DEA Agent Confiscator of Borg replied...Hell no! Its my turn...touching my toes.
I am Wacky Tabaccy Collector of Borg...and in this jar is the hybrid version of OZ Gold. Light...delicate with an aromatic scent not too heavy but very potent.
I am Buyer of Borg...Nah! Been there done that. Got milk?
I am Park Ranger of Borg... I sure hope, Mr Lumberjack, that you ain't tryin' to assimilate with any of the wildlife around here. Some of the bears in these parts... er... well, you can seduce 'em and they'll lap up the assimilation, but then they'll turn with their claws and whip off that implant of yours as quick as look at yer. Don't matter none to them if'n yer gentle and give em' an orgasm. No siree, when you pull that thing outta there all fishy like, they're gonna think it's a salmon and yer implant's gone.
I am DEA Agent Confiscator of Borg... well you sure are a glutton for punishment! Orright then, grab yer ankles and take a deep breath... incoming implant headed your way.
I am Shrew of Borg - I will not assimilate you, but I will make you wish you had been
I am Richard Burton of Borg... and the taming of shrews is my specialty. (movie: The Taming of the Shrew)
I am Elizabeth Taylor of Borg... I don't know about that! You married me twice and failed miserably.
I am Ishkabibble of Borg...I got the Ish and I got the bibble.
I am Ish of Borg...Has anyone seen my implant. I know I left it here somewhere.
I am Bibble of Borg...Has anyone seen 'my' implant. Ish said it was under her bed. I looked. All I saw were remnants of past diffused starkerbarks. Now what she'a doin' with them I don't know.
I am Starkers of Borg...Bibble of Borg...you tell Ish to keep her mandibles off of my implants. I had to replace seven of them in quick succession. Ish Of Borg...tell your oil dripping other self I am not his depository for suppositories. They leave rings around my implant and they itch.
I am Frodo Baggins of Borg...Did I hear starkers mention rings? I'm good with rings.
I am female of Borg - you will be assimilated when I get some new shoes...
I am female of Borg - you will be assimilated as soon as I've gotten the pots washed...
I am wife of Borg - you will be assimilated when I tell you to...
I am Husband of Borg...you got to catch me first.
I am Man of Borg...OWWWWWWWWWW...that hurts...jeez.
I am Man of Borg...I just bought you a pair of......OWWWWWWWW...and again.
I am Wife of Borg...Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
I am Marriage Counselor of Borg... if you girls are having assimilation issues, I can show you how it's done, standard fees are then waived.
I am a solicitor of Borg - assimilation will cost you 200 an hour + expenses
I am Tax Assessor of Borg...It is my sincere hope you have documented proof of said charges Solicitor of Borg. Taxes assessed at 98.345623% per hour and an additional 68.346543% for expenses will be levied. Unless of course......(leans down close to whisper in Solicitor of Borg's implant) pssst. pssst, pssst.
I am Solicitor of Borg...pssst, pssst, pssst.
I am High Priced Hooker of Borg.... well you're always gonna be broke, then! My standard assimilation fees are 500 an hour + expenses.... more for that kinky stuff you love so much.
I am Bill Clinton of Borg... I sure hope that 500 an hour includes discretion, or does that come under 'expenses'?
I am Master Bates of Borg... well you won't be getting any of my money, then. If I go to bed with an 'implant problem' I wake up with solution in hand.
I am reality of Borg... work hard...
YYYAAAHHHHHH
I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg... the reality is that there's too many effing reality/lifestyle shows pretending to be 'real life'
I am TV Producer of Borg... sorry, Disgruntled Viewer of Borg, but that's what people want.
I am Sarcastic Critic of Borg... hey, TV Producer of Borg, get yer hand off it and show us some 'real' entertainment, you wacker.
I am Guy Fawkes of Borg... do you want be to blow those TV producer bastards up.
I am Disgruntled Viewer of Borg... for all that's actually worth watching on TV, that's not such a bad idea... and while yer at it, put some gunpowder underneath those info-mercial bastards as well.
I was only kiddding of BorG..... and the sun will come out tomorow
I am Harbringer of Borg - 3 hours after the sun comes out, it will go super nova. Might as well be assimilated now.
I am Mrs. Harbinger of Borg... you'll get assimilated if and when I say, in the meantime, take out the gargage, mow the lawn and weed the garden beds.
I am Sad sack of Borg... my wife is like yours, Harbinger, assimilations are far and few between. Before we were married I used to put a dollar in a tin beside the bed, and after, I took out a dollar evey time we assimilatde... boo-hoo, after 10 years of marriage there's still $90 in the tin.
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