Joe User is "Joke User"

Get Your Free Blog! Next Year!

By TheGuyPC Posted June 30, 2006 05:01:33External Link

Everyone at Joe User is just so happy and fun! You have to have a sense of humor with a name like Joe User!

I was considering starting a blogsite dedicated to the discussion of marriage. I was going to call it Harry Crabs. My wife balked, so I digress.

There is really no virtual community to compare to the honest, open perspective that Joe User has. There should be more like it. This world would be a much richer, more diverse place.

I, as soooooooo many others are just grateful to be blessed by the absolute intelligence that this community offers.

Thank you so much. And to do it all for free?! Wow!

PC

0 Karma 1311 Replies 37 Referrals

Aiight, Cap'n.

Thank ye, m' dear... ye be a true treasure.

Actually, lil-whip... I see'd nought wrong wiv "commie loving pinko fag" I wur under tha impreshun it wur a 'former' Soviet Union cigarette, combined wiv aphrodizzyac n' rolled in pink paper. Bugger all wrong wiv that!

I took me an aphrodizzyac once...tha room kept spinnin' fer a week n' I ne'er got t' find out wot it wur for.

Guess now it be Russia o'er thar, I reckuns 'em 'd only make 'em in Communist China n' N Korea.... bein' they still be commies, I guess!

Oi! Lil-whip. 'ave ye thought wot 'em 'd be if'n 'em wos Cuban?

I reckuns 'em 'd be commie pinko loving Cuban cigars.

Tho under Castro I reckuns 'ed'ave left out tha aphrodizzyac... so's thar'd be less of 'em kayakin' it o'er t' Florida.

Now Doc, I bin tellin' 'e fer ages t' leave tha rum fer tha swabs n' blaggards. Thar be a dozen barrels o' speshul cap'ns brandy stowed in me personal locker wot ye be welcome to.... bein' as 'ow I baint be inta 'ard licker anymore.

Aye cap'n. But ye not want them landlubbers piesinin the crew, now do ye? I have to make sure it be not rot gut, and good stuff!

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Are you a contortionist or did you have a friend lick it and tell you? Just curious.

Oh yeah, lil-whip, I bin meanin' t' 'ave a wurd wiv 'e 'bout that that lil gem....

...As soon as I see'd it, I did spat a mouthful o' Tetleys all 'oer tha navigashun charts... so instead o' gwen t' Bermuder t' snaffle us up sum booty, us got waylaid o'er t' Ceylon n' ended up wiv a 'old full o tealeaves instead.

Not t' wurry.. it wur bloody geniuss

an' tea be bett'r fer I than rum any'ow.

..As soon as I see'd it, I did spat a mouthful o' Tetleys all 'oer tha navigashun charts...

Arrrrgh, tha cap'n be gettin sloppy wiv thar tea, I think he be soon walkin tha ther plank fer wastin tha tea

I think he be soon walkin tha ther plank

If'n I e'er gits ta wlkin' tha plank, it'll be tha one b'tween tha Twisted Sister n' that thar Froggie vessel's wenches quarters... I 'ears 'em 'aves a few beauties o'er thar wot could use a cap'ns touch.

Reply #1280
mrs starkers

If that be capn starkers, i be sampling less o'er the rum. he not be so fearsome looking when I be sober!

Nah, that baint be me...I be far worse. Why d' yer fink thar be no mirrors in me cabin.

Why d' yer fink thar be no mirrors in me cabin.

Yer drink blud, and sleep in a coffin?

Yup! An' I eats pussy, too... well yer didn' fink that thar feline made it t' tha end o' tha plank, did yer???

Oh, n' I got meself a spare cap'ns hat... tha galley wench rescued is' afore 'e went inta tha microwave.

Yup! An' I eats pussy, too...

I take it ye not be Indian or Chinese.

Nope... but us did 'ave a Chinese cook once...'til I figured wot wos 'appenin' t' the rats frum tha bilge.

Aye, tha blaggard wos passin' 'em orf in e's chicken soup.

Aye, tha blaggard wos passin' 'em orf in e's chicken soup.

They be tastin a might like chicken I heerd.

.... yar?

They be tastin a might like chicken I heerd.

Well that not be wot 'eared... so fer 'e's gall t' feed us vermin, I 'ad 'im keel'auled 'til thar wur no more barnacles 'neath tha Sister's waterline. Aarrrghhhh!!!

I 'ad 'im keel'auled 'til thar wur no more barnacles 'neath tha Sister's waterline. Aarrrghhhh!!!

Aye, so he did serve a useful purpose. Dat be good.

Aye, 'e wur useful orright...'part frum rubbin' orf all tha barnacles, 'e dislodged a bunch o' stowaways wot wos 'angin' orf tha rudder t' avoid bein' see'd aboard.

Now ye knows wot wos slowin' us down gittin' t' Stardock... a rabble o' rastafarian refugees wot wos tryin' t' reach tha land o' great ganga/wonderful weed/wacky t'baccy.

And still no wurd frum Gorg?????

.... yar?

Now that be a wurd wot Gorg says! So it be true, then, ye Stardock fellers really do 'ave Gorg chained t' tha wall in yer brig.... doin' all sorts o' unimaginable fing to 'im.

I juss 'opes ye 'aven't skinned 'im.... while it took a bit o' gittin' used to at tha start, I 'ave become rather fond of e's pale gray complexion n' wouldn' want 'im any other way.

I mean, them thar big bug eyes of e's juss wouldn' look right if'n 'e wur pink or summat.

Wot d' ye reckon Doc, that us'd make better speed t' rescue tha poor lil feller now them banacles n' stowaways be gawn?

a rabble o' rastafarian refugees

Now say that 3 times fast, an' not like liza doolittle.

Wot d' ye reckon Doc, that us'd make better speed t' rescue tha poor lil feller now them banacles n' stowaways be gawn?

Aye, but best be checkin the bilge water for any frogies as well.

Now say that 3 times fast, an' not like liza doolittle.

Ye 'aves ter be joshin' me, Doc! I can't even say it fast tha once... tho me Liza Dolittle impreshun weren't so bad.

Aye, but best be checkin the bilge water for any frogies as well.

Thank ye fer remindin' me, Doc, I 'adn't thunk o' that... us wouldn' want a bilge full o' slippery lil tadpoles, now would us? Bein' as 'ow 'em multiplies faster than them thar randy rabbits, they'd slow us down fer shure..

At Last Word Frum Gorg

Aye, Gorg 'ave used Stardock technolergy n' one o' thar coding pigeons t' send I a message. 'E says they be treatin' 'im orright, which I be glad fer, but I fears us mightn't see 'im agin.

'E n' Gorgina 'aves thar own room; them gets t' eat whatever 'em fancies; they gits t' sit around n' watch DVD's an' 'em gits t' play wiv all tha technolergy stuff. Bastards be treatin' 'em like a king n' queen so's 'em 'll want ter stay thar n' not come back t' tha Sister.

Me finks, if tha truth be knowed, they be thar pickin' e's brain fer alien technolergies wot'll 'elp 'em boost sales. Now that thar might be all well n' good, but wot about all e's shipmates wot misses 'im???

Orright, so Gorg don't need rescuin' after all... but I shure 'opes them'll let 'im n' Gorgina 'ave a vacashun t' come visit fer a bit now n' then.

Me finks, if tha truth be knowed, they be thar pickin' e's brain fer alien technolergies wot'll 'elp 'em boost sales. Now that thar might be all well n' good, but wot about all e's shipmates wot misses 'im???

Aye, he be a pod person now. This ere stardock technology be stonger than we feared. Ow many others have we lost to that thar technology?

Fer shure, Doc, thar be millions wot 'ave bin done in by Stardock technolergy... why, I even got some if it meself n' 'ave bin mesmerised by it. At first I though nought of it, that I'd not git t' me 'ammock of a night, but now I comes t' think of it, them thar Stardock fellers knowed 'xactly wot 'em wos doin' when 'em devised all this 'ere stuff.

It be like tha drugs ye be 'avin' when yer 'aves no drugs.... it be addictive an' 'em knowed it frum tha start. Wot be worse is thar be no antidote fer it... an then yer got all them thar secret agents wot calls 'emselves skinners doin' stuff t' make it even 'arder fer us t'git back t' a normal piratin' life.

Mebbe us should oughta storm Stardock any'ow... no just ter rescue Gorg n' e's missus, but t' pick Frogboy's brains fer technolergies wot 'll 'elp us git more wind in tha sails so's us can collect more booty faster.

Mebbe us should oughta storm Stardock any'ow

Aye, wit dark glasses on! Look not inna dat light!

Now that thar sounds like a plan to I... us'll storm tha fortress walls afore dusk or thar abouts n' git strait ter Frogboy's office wiv da thumb screws ta git them thar technolergies wot us needs ter become tha most feared pirates on tha 'igh seas. Aaarrgghh, us'd become invincible... more than a match fer them thar Froggies n' tha King's navy, I'll be tellin' of 'e.